No family. No friends.

No encouragement. No hope.

This year, Colorado legislators are considering Senate Bill 53, “Health Facility Visitation During Pandemic,” which would require hospitals to allow patients at least one visitor during their stay.

I care about this piece of legislation more than I’ve ever cared about legislation before. That’s because on May 19, 2020, Elizabeth Reiter, my beloved wife of nearly twenty years, died alone at the UCHealth University of Colorado Hospital on the Anschutz Medical Campus. After being admitted three weeks earlier with an undiagnosed condition, a blood clot hit her lung, causing cardiac arrest. She was just 40 years old and left behind two young boys.

The fog of war is a genuine phenomenon, distorting reality and causing otherwise rational people to make poor decisions in the heat of battle. The American health care system has navigated its own fog these last 16 months – fighting its way through waves of a dreaded virus that has claimed over 900,000 lives in the United States and over 5 million worldwide.

In an effort to protect both medical personnel and patients, many healthcare facilities have closed their doors to visitors. Whether it’s a critical doctor appointment to deliver difficult news (like a cancer diagnosis or update), an emergency room visit, an overnight hospital stay, a birth, a nursing home rehab, or any number of other instances, patients have lost the right to have their strongest advocate by their side.

My Elizabeth had dealt with health issues nearly our entire marriage. In 2004, she was diagnosed with lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. In 2014, she was admitted to UCH with congestive heart failure and an enlarged heart due to undiagnosed pulmonary hypertension. At the time, we were told it was an “end of life situation.”

As a family, we rallied around Elizabeth, literally taking shifts in the hospital room. She received excellent medical care – but we provided what no doctor or nurse ever could. We held her hand, rubbed her feet, and spoke encouraging words over her, casting a vision for our shared future.

She not only survived but emerged stronger and rejuvenated. Many on her support team credited this emotional care we provided. It made the difference between death and life. I firmly believe that had someone been allowed to be with Elizabeth during this ordeal in April and May of 2020, I’d still have a wife, and my boys would still have a mother.

That’s because when someone’s world is collapsing, family and loved ones are needed to keep them from getting crushed.

In 2020, Elizabeth never contracted COVID, nor did I. Even so, my boys and I were forced to stand in the parking lot of the hospital, watching for my bride at the window, waving at her diminishing silhouette in the evening twilight.

Sadly, Elizabeth’s tragic story isn’t an outlier. Since March 12, 2020, many millions of Americans have faced our medical system alone. Many millions of others have avoided medical care because of their fear of being in the hospital alone.

And yes, hundreds of thousands have died alone.

Numerous studies have shown the adverse effects of social isolation and loneliness. One academic paper called “Loneliness and Social Isolation as Risk Factors for Mortality” shows loneliness increases mortality by 26%. Multiple experts have equated the effects of loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes per day.

So why are many hospitals still isolating patients?

Of course, there is a need to protect doctors, nurses, staff, and other patients, but we can strike a balance between that protection and giving individuals the love, care, support, and advocacy they need. It’s time for the Colorado General Assembly to enshrine in law every patient’s right to have at least one visitor by their side during the most difficult days of their life.

Sen. Julie Gonzales, as the chair of the State, Veterans, & Military Affairs Committee, also known as the Senate’s “Kill Committee,” is expected to kill this bill. Sen. Gonzales, from the bottom of our hearts, my boys and I ask that, instead, you put your name on it and get it passed.

No one should face our medical system alone. And no one — not a single person — should ever have to die alone.

Steve Reiter is the founder of The Never Alone Project, which exists to raise awareness about the dangers of isolation in the health care system and to advocate for the regulatory and legislative changes needed to protect people from forced isolation.

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